The Perfect Girlfriend

Yes, she exists. And no, she’s not the supermodel type with the long legs and perfect skin. She’s even better. She’s the type of girl that looks boring, the one you’d overlook. She’d be your last choice.

At worst, she’s insecure, clingy, shallow, jealous, nagging, sensitive, emotional, dramatic and annoying. But if you can’t handle her at her worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve her at her best.

So, what is a perfect girlfriend?

They say there’s no such thing as perfection and, that she doesn’t exist. Oh, trust me, she does.

She dresses up all cute and pretty every time you take her out on a date. This is her way of keeping you interested as your eyes are locked solely on her. You stare at other girls instead, and she gets hurt and upset that all her time and effort were put to waste.

You call her INSECURE.

She holds on to you like she’s never letting you go. This is her way of telling other girls that she’s lucky she has you, and no, you’re not available.

You call her CLINGY.

She calls you the sweetest nicknames, or ones that only you two will understand. This is her way of saying how special you are, and that there’s nobody else in the world like you. You call other girls “babe” just as how you would call her, and she gets disappointed.

You call her SHALLOW and JEALOUS.

She checks up on you, making sure you made it home safely or that you’re not getting yourself into any kind of trouble. This is her way of showing how often she thinks about you and that she worries constantly because that’s how much she cares.

You say she’s NAGGING.

She cries when you do or say something wrong. This is her way of saying “that hurts only because YOU said it and I love you”.

You call her OVERLY SENSITIVE and EMOTIONAL.

She loves you more than you love her. This is her way of dealing with the fact that your relationship wasn’t like how it used to be.

You call her DRAMATIC and ANNOYING.

So go ahead. Leave the insecure, clingy, jealous, nagging, overly sensitive, annoying girl. She will soon be much happier in the arms of someone who actually deserves her: the perfect boyfriend.

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I think all girlfriends are like this. And there’s no such thing as the perfect girlfriend (like having standards and all). Cause the perfect girlfriend is YOUR girlfriend. Anyway. Well if you guys don’t like your girlfriends to be all these, stop being assholes. And if you can’t stop being an ass, get a mannequin for a girlfriend so you won’t have to deal with stuff like these. Realize that all your alpha male shit won’t make a girl bow down to you. Have a little sensitivity and a little love. Try to love sincerely and honestly. They won’t stay forever for you as girls tend to realize sooner or later that they do not deserve assholes. Stop taking your girlfriends for granted. Entiendes?

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